Being heard is like sex. There’s a buildup of tension, until you’re understood, and you achieve release.
Listening is like lubrication. A little bit can go a long way in reducing friction. Frankly, it’s painful when there’s not enough of it.
People get grumpy when they haven’t been heard in a while. You can listen to yourself, but it’s more fun when you listen to each other. It’s a turnoff if you don’t care and you just go through the motions. In fact, some people fake it just to get it over with. And it’s usually not funny when people find out.
Listening is one of the first things to go in a relationship. It’s fun and happens regularly in a healthy one. It’s best when your partner is gracious and skillful, not selfish and inept.
Lastly, and this is tragic, women often don’t feel heard.
There are several reasons why listening is similar to sex. They’re both basic human needs. They both bring connection and satisfaction. They both involve give and take. Now, go ahead and spice up your relationship with some hot, steamy listening!